Memories of the early years (well, earlier than now)

A few days ago, while my Hubster was away at a ministry conference, the kids and I had to run to the grocery store. I had Lauren holding onto my belt loop on my right leg, Jake holding my left hand, and Meg propped up against me while pushing the cart with my remaining hand. It was quite a sight I'm sure. But we made it ;)

As I walked in, I see a lady on her way out with two young children, about 1 and 3 years old. I'm getting everyone situated in the cart and see that she's looking at me. Her looking quickly turned into staring. And that led to complete awkwardness on my part. Finally, she snapped out of it and said, “Ah, sorry! Didn't mean to stare.”

For the record, we’ve been stared at before. I'd like to say the stares were because I am so amazingly gorgeous, but that's obviously not the case ;) These stares are not always the kind, admiring kinds of looks. So I simply smiled, she smiled and then I figured out why she was staring as I caught a glimpse of her bulging belly... she was looking at her future.

Ahh, I've been there. It was like a flashback; two young children with a third on the way. Brings back so many memories...

When your kids are infant, toddler, and preschool-sized, it can be easy to think, “this is never going to end.” These years are physically and emotionally intense, no doubt. Wherever you go, there always seems to be a little person with a need, looking to you to fulfill it.

When Megan was born, I can remember being reluctant to go anywhere by myself because I was afraid I’d lose somebody. My sweet husband did a lot of errands for me because I knew there was no way I could watch everyone by myself and come home with what was on the list (and them!).

I can even look back last year when I attended a morning Bible study. I would lug the baby in an infant carrier, have a a toddler holding onto one side, and my preschooler on the other. We'd have to cross the parking lot (because I was inevitably late trying to get all three little people in the car) with my purse, a diaper bag, and the Bible study material. And then, with my already full arms, I'd have to carry in an appetizer to share on occasion.

But yesterday afternoon, standing in my kitchen, I looked up  and thankfully paused and watched. My 5 year old was crafting at her art table. My three year old was playing with his remote control car, and Megan was crawling around the house, content and investigating. I watched them all and my heart was full.

Now to be real, our house is not always serene. There is preschooler drama, bouts of toddler frustration and a crying, teething baby that demands to be held. But standing there in the kitchen, God gave me a moment to recognize what a blessing I’ve been given in each of my kids. I watched how they paraded around our home and listened to sounds of chatter and giggling.

I love these people. I adore them. And it hit me that they’re growing up quickly... waaaay too quickly for my liking. I wanted to go squeeze them all and tell them to stop growing for a little while.... so I did, much to the disliking of my buy who didn't have time for mama's kisses while he was racing cars.

When you’re in the baby years, sometimes it’s hard to envision what the future will be like (heck, it is for me and I'm in the midst of it!). The lady at  grocery store saw my three young kiddos, her future, and her smile told me that we have her hope that she would make it;  that she would live... and that she would thrive. And I was thankful that on that day we gave her a good example to witness.

If you're like me, your head is spinning because you’re exhausted, and you wish you could put the activity on pause just long enough to retreat and take a shower. So I take lots of deep breaths and try to remember that the physical sacrifices I am making today are for the benefit of some very special people. I have to remind myself to hang in there and ask God for His supernatural strength.

Then I wade through the Goldfish, hug my babies, and whisper a thank you to God for this wonderful crazy moment in my life.