Stay at Home Mom thoughts...

I just feel like my brain is jumbled tonight. Not completely sure why, so I thought I'd write it all out in hopes of getting some much needed clarity.

I think it has to do with the fact that I have been struggling to do *it* all. I am growing in my walk with God, continually striving to be a loving wife to my husband, taking care of our babies, keeping our home clean and organized, preparing nutritious edible meals for us, maintaining friendships to keep sane, exercising and training for 5k's to continue my weight loss, etc... I just feel like there's so much I want to do and so many obligations...

And when I say "take care of the kids", that's not even the half of it... I'm not talkin' setting them down in front of the babysitter TV all day. We don't even have a TV anymore. Besides changing diapers, nursing a baby, feeding meals and snacks, and potty training, I sit down and interact and play. I model behavior for them and attempt to teach values and morals without them even knowing it. I teach them songs and games. We go to the park, go outdoors to "invesgate" flowers and ladybugs, we cook, we paint, we go to the Library, go to playdates... we go everywhere that is free and kiddo friendly, all in the name of nurturing their curiosity and development. Exhausting at times, but worth every minute.


Tonight at Bootcamp we talked about training for a 10k. I would LOVE to train with all of my friends and prove to myself that I can do this. In fact, I got all excited at the prospects. But then we started talking about the training schedule and these 5 pm running meetings. And this is where the problems lie... 1) I just don't have enough time to do it. Between dinner, baths, bedtime stories, spending some much needed time with my husband and alllll of the other obligations, there simply aren't enough hours in the day. 2) But beyond the time constarints, do I really wanna leave my babies for a few hours to run??? Do I want to give up precious time with them in order to burn a couple hundred calories??

Everyone says these infant/toddler years go by super fast. Everyone says to enjoy every second of it, even when both are tugging at your legs and begging to be held. Because when they are 3 and 4 years of age, they won't want to be carried....or cuddled... or kissed on.


The Hubster and I make sacrifices so that I can stay home and raise our children. For this period in my life, I have made this role a very high priority (after being my husband's wife). I do this because I am madly in love with my children and want the best for them. This love makes being a Stay at Home Mom the most rewarding, fulfilling job in the world... even if I won't be able to run that stinkin' 10k.


And that's why I have decided to put 10k training on the back burner (I will do 5k's though with the Hubster and kiddos in the jogging stroller). Soon enough, my children will be older and a bit more self sufficient. When this happens, I will be able to focus on my body and train my heart out. Until then, I will continue to do my very best teaching, playing and loving my children with every ounce of my being. Being a Stay at Home Mom isn't an easy job (if you do it right), but one day when they're loving, confident, independent adults, I will look back on these times and know I made the right decision.