Making sense...

So now that it's finally sunk in that my sweet Bunnies is gone, I find it necessary to "talk" to her throughout the day and tell her how much I miss her. I also set up this little "memorial" of her, which included the beautiful bouquet I received form the vet's office, my favorite picture of her dressed in a Halloween clown suit and her most favorite stuffed animal....a frog that she stole from Lauren's playroom :) When she first got that frog, she snuck around with it as so I wouldn't catch her. When I finally did and attempted to replace it with an actual dog toy, she refused the and fetched Lauren's frog again. After several attempts to steal it back, I gave up and it officially became Elle's toy. And now when I look at that slobbery, chewed up frog, it brings a smile to my face. She LOVED that toy so very much.

On a side note, one of my friends emailed me this story about dog's and I finally "got" why Ellie passed on...I'll explain at the end of the story. Anyways, here it is:

Dog's Purpose (from a 6-year-old).

Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog's owners, Ron, his wife, Lisa, and their little boy, Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.

I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn't do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.

As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience

The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker's family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.

The little boy seemed to accept Belker's transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker's death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are Shorter than human lives. Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, "I know why." Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I'd never heard a more comforting explanation.

He said, "People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life -- like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?" The six-year-old continued, "Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don't have to stay as long."

Live simply.
Love generously.
Care deeply.
Speak kindly.

And as my friend Carole pointed out, it sounds like Ellie just learned all these things faster than most. And that makes sense...she was a quick learner and her job here on Earth was done. I was just the fortunate one who got to enjoy her while she was here :)

My sweet Elle...

So I've had overnight to think about all that's happened with my Ellie Belle and I'm sad to say I'm just as devastated, if not moreso today, than I was last night. I guess it's because it's finally sinking in that I won't get to see her for a very long time. I am beyond devastated. And shocked. And completely heart broken. She was only 2.5 years old and died SOOO suddenly. When I brought her in to the vets yesterday, she had really pale gums but was hanging in there...I totally thought she would pull through. Last night, Justin and I visited her and I could tell how grave the situation was. They had her on fluids, she was undergoing a blood transfusion, she was on Oxygen, every medication you could think of, etc...she was getting worse by the minute. Long story short, it was suspected that she suffered from AutoImmune Hemolytic Anemia (AIHA). Her little body couldn't handle any more blood "loss" and she lost her battle.



I stayed with her for about 30 minutes and told her that I wanted her to keep fighting...that I couldn't imagine not having her in our lives. We had her since she was 6 weeks and honest to God, I loved her nearly as much as I love Lauren. She was my other baby (no wait, she will always be my other baby). Anyways, I could tell she was suffering and told her that if she needed to go, I understood and that as devastated as I would be, I would see her in Heaven one day. We left shortly after because I began to get nauseous and I was getting myself so worked up. When Justin and I arrived home shortly after, Dr. J called and said that my sweet Ellie was trying to die...she began having difficulty breathing, then blood started seeping out of her mouth and nose and she went comatose shortly after. Anyways, he told me that if I could see her at that moment, I wouldn't let her suffer like she was. The best thing to do was end her misery. I told him to please kiss her, hold her and tell her how much I loved her and then he put her to sleep. It was the HARDEST "decision" I've ever had to make and I am still SO in shock. I am SOOOOOO angry at God that she's gone...


This morning I received a beautiful bouquet of flowers from the vets office (my previous boss and coworkers). The door bell rang and there was only 1 dog barking...another reminder of how sad and boring it is right now. I am going to miss so many things about "Bunnies"...the nickname she grew up with because she had the cutest buns. I am going to miss her slobbery kisses, the way she LOVED her toys, the way she would search Justin out when he hid in the covers and she would dig frantically to find him, her obnoxiously loud snoring, the way she let Lauren snuggle up against her whenever she wanted, the way she barked at the cats and then ran off as fast as possible so they couldn't swat at her, her love of walks, her "little dog" attitude towards big dogs, man, the list could go on forever....


Anyways, I can't stop crying...I miss her so very much already. Why did this happen? Why? I can't understand why such a happy, sweet, young healthy dog was taken so suddenly. This sucks...it just does.


Please, if you're reading this, pray that my heart heals soon. I know people say "it's just a dog" but she was SOOOO much more than a dog. Man, I just miss her little spirit so much it actually hurts.


One day, I will see her again. For now, I try to remember that she's in Heaven waiting for me. But for the meantime, I'm POSITIVE she's living it up with Thumpy, Tippy, Robbie and Mikey...and I'm even more sure that their days are filled with tons of love, kisses, walks and lots and lots of whipped cream. Because that was ALL of their favorites :)



Until then, I will ALWAYS love and miss you Bunnies...see you in Heaven my sweet girl.