Dear Laurenbug,
today you turn five! Five sounds big. Really big. Still, it doesn’t stop me from scooping you up in my arms several times a day and smooching on you despite you saying, “mama! You know I only like hugs!” I can’t help it… I’m just so thankful that you are mine, sweet girl.
Today I am reflecting on the story of your birth, as moms are known to do. I can't help but think back to what I was doing five years ago today. How I was entering the exhausting but exciting world of being a mom. How I was scared out of my mind and yet, nursing you and holding you in my arms and falling love all at the same time. How we began to navigate through all the newness and the three of us would spend our days/nights together, managing somehow to get dressed despite little to no sleep. How those hours at home with you gradually grew from surviving to thriving. How the exhaustion eventually faded and seeing the world through your eyes brought such joy into my life. How God further revealed His love for me through the love I have for you and your siblings. How I came to Christ through the challenges of having two babies so closely in age.
Here come the tears. I always cry a bit around your birthdays! Not in front of you and Jake or Megan, of course because there is too much birthday fun to be had for that! No, just in my quiet moments, when I realize that the sand is indeed falling fast. When you and Jake were little, the days often seemed long. Now they go by so quickly. Seasons roll right into the next and days turn into years. I try so hard to be present, to be in the moment with you, Jake, Megan and daddy, to turn those moments into memories; to celebrate life together, and to teach you about God and the purpose of life. I pray over you, for you, with you. I take a thousand pictures so I can memorize life as we know it because I realize how quickly the seasons fade; and I daily try with intention to make your childhood safe, structured, happy, warm, secure, fun. I don't always do the best job. Sometimes I get worn out and impatient and frustrated. But I want you to know I try with purpose because of how much I love you.
Lauren, it’s been a beautiful thing watching you grow out of toddlerhood into a big girl this past year. Although your shy and quiet, ‘old soul’ personality has not diminished, a couple new character traits have emerged with strength. Your gentleness, your caring heart and your love for Jesus take my breath away. You are the sweetest girl I know. Just this past weekend, you got to go to the beach with you Nan and Grammy. You came home and told me about it and then said, ‘mom, while I was playing with some friends (I met) there, I asked them if they had Jesus in their hearts’. This just melted me. At five years old, you are already reaching out to others to proclaim His name. You already have your priorities right and I am just so proud of you.
Whatever He has for you, however He plans on using your energy, personality, and talents, I pray for this...that you will love Him first, and do everything you do for His glory. I know He has big things in store for you, sweet girl. I thank God every.single.day for the gift of being your mom. And I write this and more so that you will always have full confidence in what you are to my heart, and that we can remember what life was like when you were five and our caring, devoted little ‘woo-dee’. You are and will forever be a blessing to me and I can’t wait to see what the next year brings. I love you more than you could imagine!
With lots and lots of love,
Mama
Birthday letters: 1st Birthday, 2nd Birthday, 3rd Birthday, 4th Birthday
